What is it about that second child?
I’ve talked to many women about their seconds and there is something so drastically different from their firsts; a free-spirited soul who marches to the beat of their own drum.
That’s my Johanna.
Sometimes Bobby and I just look at each other wondering where in the world did this child come from? She has as bizarre fascination for things slightly morbid and I often hear her taking care of her babies with missing limbs and missing parents. I’ve caught her in the library sneaking a peek into The Incredible Hulk action books, fascinated with the action illustrations instead of a fluffy happy book. And she loves a chance to play guns (with gun powder, she tells them) when she’s under the influence of boy friends.
Johanna has her own agenda, totally different from Caroline’s. While Caroline wants to please us and help out because of a sense of responsibility she feels, Johanna could honestly care less. She isn’t here to please anyone. She requires much more creativity in motivating, that is for sure.
And with all of those differences in raising her, there is something in this second child that is unlike my other children. She has the most laid back, easy-going spirit that calms me so often when I need just one less emotional daughter. She somehow is internally steady. She knows when to make a big deal about things and when to brush things off. Now that I think of it, she is identical to her Daddy. (Except for the morbid doll play.)
Johanna and I get along so well and it is because her strengths are my weaknesses. She rejuvenates me. She exudes her calmness. And as I’m sure so is your second child, she is absolutely essential to the peace of our family and our home.
What is your second child like?
the sleepy time gal
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I love this blog post about Johanna, she’ll love looking back at this when she is older! You are an amazing Mother!
I love the Nutcracker Book paper dolls! She sounds so much like me, when I was her age. I was the second child too. Johanna fits in so well with my boys, and I always love having her here in my home, I love all of your girls! During Joy School at my house she is always found playing house with what ever she can find. She loved our Nativity! She and my Isaac are so similar!
I never had a second child of my own, I got my 2nd and my 3rd all in the same package deal. My twins are very different from Thomas in so many ways! I think it is extremely healthy and so so wonderful to have the 2nd be different/calmer, because I find my 1st born to be my most intense child.
Johanna is just like our first daughter. Sometimes I wonder what she is thinking because she always seems to be in some imaginary world. My second little girl is calm and obedient. So maybe my first has a little second child syndrome.
How funny! They do sound totally opposite of mine!
Wow, this is so absolutely true for me as well. My older daughter (who’s about to turn 5) – she is, at times, very… I don’t know how to put it…emotionally demanding? When she’s good, she’s GREAT, but she can also be VERY difficult, and doesn’t listen a lot of the time. She behaves wonderfully at school, though, and is eager to please. She is very shy, and doesn’t like to be the center of attention. We have a special bond, and I love her to pieces and sometimes feel like I am the only one who really understands her and how to respond when she’s having trouble getting a grip on her emotions (which, thankfully, only seems to happen at home/with us).
My younger daughter, who’s 2, couldn’t be more different. I braced myself when she turned 2 (my older one actually hit her terrible 2′s at about 18 months), but she is still the same happy, easy-going kid she’s been since day one. As my mom says “no one puts baby in a corner” – she speaks up for what she wants. She has a very funny little personality and is, simply, a joy. She is so easy to be with, she entertains herself, she makes me laugh. She has been this way since the day she was born.
Well, I only have Aubrey, but she is like no other child I have known. She is very much her own person and doesn’t feel the need to go with the crowd. She is very strong-willed, compassionate, goofy and loving.
Hey there…love this post! So~so far Hayden (being a whopping 6 months old) is both similar and yet different from his older brother. He definitely has a temper on him, and the boy KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS. He is also much easier for other people to care for, where as Sam I was the soother of him alone. Hayden is taking a long way around the eating route, and would rather nurse, whereas Sam also loved to nurse, but loved food at 4 months of age. I can’t wait for the rest of our lives to play out, but at this point I am relishing the similarities and differences alike.
Hmmm, interesting. You know, I always thought Benjamin and Caroline would make such great friends, but now I think perhaps Johanna and he would get along quite well.
So sweet and thoughtful. I think this is one of my favorite posts
beautiful post. my second child Elena is very girly and feminine, very emotional, very sweet, thoughtful, compassionate, empathatic, kind, considerate and in some ways more grown up than me! my firstborn son Alex ressembles me most in personality and character: strengths as well as weaknesses! but it’s my thirdborn daughter Gabriela that has a magical hold on my heart. she can appease my troubled heart with an indescribable peace and joy that are hard to explain. i always tell her i’m certain we were best friends before coming to earth and that she came to help me as much as i came to help her as her mother. by the way, johanna’s morbid play may be a wonderful precursor to a life dedicated to nursing or social work or helping people who have been deeply wounded physically, emotionally, spiritually. what a gift! she has a strength of character that’s rare! and she is blessed to have a mother who nurtures all her personality traits! kisses, maria
What a beautiful post about one of my favorite little girls in the world! I love that little Johanna. It’s so cool that you did a post dedicated to all the ways she’s special.
I was just talking to a friend yesterday about the second child personality type. Johanna, my friend’s second son Asher, my brother Robert, and possibly Jude- they all seem to have some things in common: calm but stubborn. Secure in themselves and less attention-hungry than that TypeA oldest child. I think it’s so interesting to compare personality and birth order.
Your summary sounds about right!
It was funny reading this post because my first two boys have such similar personalities as your first two girls! The last couple days John (the oldest) has enjoyed “surprising” me by cleaning all of their toys in a certain room and then calling me in to come see. He’s a pleaser that boy! One of his strengths that I really love
And Daniel (my second) is, like yours, very carefree and fun. Laughs hysterically after burping or tooting (I don’t know whether to laugh with him or get mad at him), and will pretty much only do crafts/art that involves making a mess. But I love how different my kids are. It certainly makes life more fun!
What a lovely post! The girls will enjoy reading about their childhood…
Guess I never really thought about it, but your post got me to thinking about me, my husband and my second child!!! All of your points are SPOT ON!! Our son (2nd child) is much more reserved and had always reminded me of his Dad (also a 2nd). I know for sure that I have always marched to that different drummer than my older sibling. Thanks for the thought provoking post!
P.S. I just adore seeing the resemblance to Auntie Meredith is your daughters…
♥